The Wine Curmudgeon browser wars: Which loads the WC’s site the fastest?

browser war

Why I am wasting my time timing browsers when I could be drinking wine?

And is this post just about browsers, or is the WC trying to make a larger, wine-related point?

What better way to combine two of the Wine Curmudgeon’s favorite pastimes, wine and computers, than a browser war? Which application loads the WC’s website the fastest?

(And, for those of you who think there is more going on here than just browsers, you’re correct.)

I tested five desktop browsers, cutting and pasting the site’s URL into the browser’s address bar and clicking my phone’s stopwatch. I didn’t test Safari, since I don’t own Apple products. I tested Microsoft’s Edge on Windows 10, while I ran the others on Xubuntu 18.04, my Linux box.

The results:

• Opera 67: 3.11 seconds.

• Chromium 80 (the open-source version of Chrome): 2.99 seconds.

• Firefox 75: 3.73 seconds.

• Brave 1.5 (a new, tres chic, “privacy-oriented” browser): 2.42 seconds

• Microsoft Edge: 4.4 seconds.

So does this mean, as we look to enhance the WC site surfing experience, that everyone should switch to Chrome?

Of course not. The test, though well-intentioned, was hardly scientific. I didn’t include a key browser. I didn’t test the browsers on the same platform. And why should load time for the blog’s website matter in testing browser efficiency?

Which brings us to the larger point here – wine scores, since scores are as unreliable as my browser test. Are scores well-intentioned? Maybe. But that’s far from enough.

If you don’t like California merlot, what difference does it make if the wine gets 88 points? You still wouldn’t drink it. Because, even if Firefox had been the fastest browser, I wouldn’t use it because I don’t like the changes Firefox has made over the past several years. I’m still annoyed I can’t move the menu button from the right to upper left side.

In addition, scores have the same inherent bias that my test did by using Linux and Windows, instead of one or the other. If every wine critic who gave scores had the same palate, then we would know that an 88 was an 88 was an 88. But the platforms are different: Is the Wine Spectator’s 88 the same as the Wine Advocate’s? Is James Suckling’s 88 the same as Antonio Galloni’s?

And finally, how can I test browsers and leave out Safari because I don’t like Apple? That’s a lot like our red wine study, which showed a bias in favor of red wines. How can we depend on scores when the facts show us white wines don’t matter as much to the people giving scores?

So trust your palate. Drink what you like, but be willing to try different wines. Because using scores to figure out what to drink is as silly as wasting a morning running the WC browser wars.

More about wine scores:
Chateau Bonnet Blanc and why scores are useless
Scores, value, and the Wine Spectator top 100
Wine business slow? Then boost the scores

3 thoughts on “The Wine Curmudgeon browser wars: Which loads the WC’s site the fastest?

  • By Lawrence Tureaud - Reply

    The last time James Suckling gave 88 points for anything was on April 1, 2010, for a Sugar Daddy Caramel pop. And Galloni doesn’t give 88 points. That what he has “staff” for….I pity the fools…

  • By CM - Reply

    Your website loaded in under 3 seconds using Firefox Quantum (part of the antiX live cd I’m running right now). I’ll have to give Xubuntu a try. I think it’s funny that even the Linux world has its 100-point scale (Xubuntu is rated 34th on the DistroWatch list right now – ha ha).

    • By Wine Curmudgeon - Reply

      And the rating system is as controversial, if you spend any time on Reddit. Antix is nice, but I would also recommend MX Linux.

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