Tag Archives: wine comedy

bloggers

The fifth do-it-yourself wine review

do it yourself

Drinky gets it now: How could he have missed the red wine’s playful mushu pork elements?

Once more, we take aim at winespeak and pomposity — the blog’s fifth do-it-yourself wine review.

The annual do-it-yourself wine review remains one of the most popular posts on the blog. And why not? You too can sound just as foolish as those of us who get paid to do it. Because doesn’t everyone want to write something as memorable as “My, I find this wine to be complex yet simple in its approach to life. It lifts my spirits and appeals to my inner child while satisfying my need to be an adult.”

So write your own wine review, using the drop-down menus in this post. Just click the menu and choose your favorite line. Those of you who get the blog via email may have to go to the website — click here to do so.

As always, thanks to Al Yellon, since I stole the idea from him, plus Luke Rissacher’s wine review generator and Lawrence Sinclair at Quora, from whom I also stole some great stuff.

In the glass, this red wine:

I smelled the wine, and:

I tasted the wine, and:

All in all, I’d say the wine:

More do-it-yourself wine reviews:
The second do-it-yourself wine review
The third do-it-yourself wine review
The fourth do-it-yourself wine review

Winebits 581: Wine humor, Cooper’s Hawk, wine palates

wine humorThis week’s wine news: Even The Onion can’t make wine humor funny, plus Cooper’s Hawk may be for sale and women may not have better palates than men

Still not funny: The Onion, which can make almost anything funny, can’t do it with wine. A recent effort mostly recycled the cliches that have bored millions for decades, including this: “MYTH: Red wine lowers blood pressure. FACT: It’s probably not great that you’re so eager to justify drinking poison.” The blog has long considered why so much wine humor isn’t funny, but to no avail. One would think that wine offers so many targets that it would make us laugh without any effort. But apparently not. One scholarly paper, without naming wine, does offer an explanation about how humor works, and wine doesn’t really fit into any of them. Could it be that wine is so boring and cliched that wine humor is an oxymoron?

On the market? Cooper’s Hawk, the Illinois-based winery and restaurant with 25 units in nine states, may be the next target for restaurant conglomerate Darden, which owns Olive Garden and LongHorn Steakhouse. Ron Ruggles of Nation’s Restaurant News reports that the chain fits “quite well with what Darden would ideally seek.” And the 325,000-member wine club and 30 percent annual sales growth probably don’t hurt, either. The Wine Curmudgeon once judged with Cooper’s Hawk founder Tim McEnery at the Indy International, and famously told him the concept didn’t sound like it would be too successful.

Wine palates: Do women have better palates than man? That has been accepted for as long as I’ve been writing about wine, but one study says it may not be true. Research using wine competition scores says men and women taste wine with equal precision, something that bothered me when I read it. That’s because wine judging isn’t exactly tasting. As one expert says in the story, judging “is not very good sensory [evaluation] …. The sheer number of wines they go through in that time frame is hugely fatiguing. There has been some interesting work that shows that wine judging is very inconsistent.” So more work needs to be done.

podcast

“Australian table wines” – because those of us who love wine need a good laugh these days

Monty Python’s “Australian table wines” reminds us the wine business has always been worth a giggle or two

Perspective is all in wine, so that with all is going on around us, this 1972 Monty Python sketch called “Australian table wine,” in which every wine cliché that makes us crazy was making people crazy then, too. Welsh claret, anyone?

The bit is from the group’s third album, “Monty Python’s Previous Record,” dating to a time when comedy records were hugely popular. In fact, owning Python’s 1973 “Matching Tie and Handkerchief” was about as cool as it got for a certain group of young men 45 years ago.

The Pythons didn’t do “Australian table wines” on the TV series, so there is only audio. But it’s more than worth listening to the entire 1:38, and not just for the wine bits. It also points out how the Pythons loved to send up Australians. Right, Bruce? How could anyone not appreciate a wine called Melbourne Old & Yellow, “Another good fighting wine … which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.”

Audio courtesy of Monty Python-Topic, via YouTube.

bloggers

The fourth do-it-yourself wine review

do it yourself

Drinky appreciates white wine with fresh stone fruit and citrus aromas and flavors.

How else to combat the foolishness in so many wine reviews? Hence, the fourth  do-it-yourself wine review.

The fourth do-it-yourself wine review gives you a chance to play wine snob, wine geek, and wine know it all, just like so many who do it professionally. Why deprive yourself of writing: “The strawberry, rhubarb, blueberry and cranberry flavors are juicy and fresh, with plenty of purity and oomph, offering a firm backbone. Dried herb, fresh earthy loam and spice notes linger, but the fruit continues to sing out on the finish.”

So write your own wine review, using the drop-down menus in this post. Just click the menu and choose your favorite line. Those of you who get the blog via email may have to go to the website — click here to do so.

And, as always, thanks to Al Yellon, since I stole the idea from him.

In the glass, this white wine:

I smelled the wine, and:

I tasted the wine, and:

All in all, I’d say the wine:

More do-it-yourself wine reviews:
The first do-it-yourself wine review
The second do-it-yourself wine review
The third do-it-yourself wine review

Overlords at Google

The third ultimate do-it-yourself wine review

do it yourself wine review

Drinky wants to write his own wine review.

Three years ago, I stole this idea from a Chicago Cubs baseball blog. Is that, I wonder, some sort of Freudian statement about how the Wine Curmudgeon approaches wine writing? Or the Cubs?

Nevertheless, it has become a popular post. For one thing, it taps into so much of the silliness we read in wine reviews. Such as: The graphite flavor in wine “most often emanates from the alchemy of expensive wood and wine. Cabernet kissed with finely toasted French oak most often proves the source of such aromas.” And it allows anyone who drinks wine to take aim at the pomposity that is all around us and that the pompous rarely see.

So write your own wine review, using the drop-down menus in this post. Just click the menu, choose your favorite line, and laugh appropriately. Those of you who get the blog via email may have to go to the website — click here to do so. And, if you like this one, you can do the first and second ultimate do-it-yourself wine reviews, too.

In the glass, this wine looks like:

I swirled the wine, and:

I tasted the wine, and:

All in all, I’d say the wine:

Great quotes in wine history: George Harrison

George HarrisonGeorge Harrison’s reaction when he is asked what he thinks of a well-known member of the Winestream Media, whose word he is supposed to take as gospel about what to drink.

And “Dead grotty, too.”

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A tip o’ the Wine Curmudgeon’s fedora to the Dedoimedo website; this post is based on his “My reaction to — ” series. The video is courtesy of Life Goes On via YouTube.

Great quotes in wine history: David Banner

David Banner, explaining what will happen if he is forced to buy overpriced 92-point wine with too much oak and high alcohol. Of course, the fellow in the tie from the Winestream Media doesn’t believe him, and we know what happens next.

A tip o ? the Wine Curmudgeon ?s fedora to the Dedoimedo website; this post is based on his ?My reaction to ? ? series. The video is courtesy of Ant Man via YouTube.