Category:Wine humor

Taking wine pairings in a more appropriate direction

Wine pairings: What goes with crying alone to Netflix?

 

The wine world spends entirely too much time on wine pairings, and even the Wine Curmudgeon is sometimes guilty of this. Hence, I was pleased to see this much more realistic – because it’s not about food – take on wine pairings, courtesy of the CBC’s Baroness Von Sketch show.

The bit is a trifle long, but it makes its point with a smile and a giggle – and in the finest tradition of Canadian sketch comedy, dating to SCTV (where the great Eugene Levy made his bones).

Because who ever considered pairing wine with crying alone to Netflix? Or something for a long, meandering fight with a boyfriend? Or box wines for making a reckless on-line purchase?

Video courtesy of CBC Comedy via YouTube

 

Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2021

wine resolutions 2021The Wine Curmudgeon’s eighth annual, Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2021. Because, Dry January — and who knew it would ever be a thing?

Just click on the drop-down menus and select your wine resolutions 2021 for the new year. Those who get the blog via email or RSS may need to click this link to go the blog to use the menus. (As always, thanks to Al Yellon, since I stole the idea from him.)

In 2021, my wine buying will:

In 2021, I’ll try different kinds of wines:

In 2021, I’ll pay more attention to wine and health:

In 2021, I will buy more wine on-line:

In 2021, I think wine will:

More New Year’s wine resolutions:
Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2020
Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2019
Do-it-yourself New Year’s wine resolutions 2018

Photo: “New Years Resolutions (1/52)” by lucidtech is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Seven wine things to do in December that have nothing to do with the holidays – but will be a lot of fun anyway

blanket fort
“Can Churro, the blog’s associate editor, use the blanket fort, too?”

Who needs the holidays to have fun drinking wine when you can sip bubbly in a blanket fort?

1. Make a blanket fort in your living room, chill a bottle of sparkling wine, and spend the evening with your significant other. What better way to end 2020?

2. Drink a bottle of regional wine. This especially applies to those of you who have never tasted regional wine, but know it’s terrible because it’s regional wine and therefore you don’t need to taste it.

3. Try a bottle of something you’ve never tasted before. After all, the world does not revolve around chardonnay, merlot, and cabernet sauvignon.

4. Shop somewhere you’ve never shopped before. After all, the world does not revolve around Costco and Trader Joe’s.

5. Buy a bottle of wine with an ugly label. That will show those wine marketers a thing or two, yes?

6. Put an ice cube in a glass of wine. Just because.

7. Let your local wine shop put together a case for you, sight unseen (but within your price range). Which, frankly, may be the most fun thing on this list.

Photo courtesy of Aimsel Ponti, using a Creative Commons license

Wine humor: One more reason why young people don’t buy wine

Comic Cam Bertrand’s incisive insights into why Millennials aren’t all that interested in wine

The wine business has been puzzled, mystified, and perplexed about reaching younger consumers for years. Comic Cam Bertrand, no Baby Boomer, has some words of wisdom – stop being so snotty about wine.

And Bertrand is damn funny about it, too. His merlot sipping and sniffing pantomime is spot on – and why can’t merlot pair with a Doritos Locos Taco?

Video courtesy of Dry Bar Comedy via YouTube

Halloween wine tales 2020

Halloween
“What’s better than a glass of wine and a WC Halloween parody post?

A blog tradition — the five Halloween wine tales from the middle of the decade.

Who else but the Wine Curmudgeon could combine Halloween and terrific parody, taking on the various foolishness inherent in the wine business? And there’s even a post about witches, for good measure.

A Halloween wine tale 2017: Dr. Who
A Halloween wine tale 2016: Kolchak: The Wine Stalker
A Halloween wine tale 2015: I am Legend
A Halloween wine tale 2014: Frankenstein
A Halloween wine tale 2013: Dracula

Photo: “Witch” by freestocks.org is marked with CC0 1.0

Call it the Cheap Wine Eater, and it’s out to premiumize the Federation

Can Kirk make the Federation safe for $10 wine by destroying the Cheap Wine Eater?

The Doomsday Machine, better known to the crew of the USS Enterprise as the Cheap Wine Eater, is trying to premiumize every wine in the Federation. Fortunately for wine drinkers from Vulcan to Rigel to Tellar, James Tiberius Kirk has a plan — overload the impulse engines on the damaged USS Constellation to destroy the Cheap Wine Eater.

This parody comes from “The Doomsday Machine,” the sixth episode of the second season of the original series. It has many of the bits that made “Star Trek” so much fun — a plot lifted from great literature (in this case, “Moby Dick”); an over the top performance by guest star William Windom, who does Ahab via Humphrey Bogart in “The Caine Mutiny;” Scotty in a Jefferies tube; and William Shatner’s impeccable Kirk, wearing his green wraparound tunic instead of the standard uniform top. And I can hear Kirk saying, “Premium-eye-zation” just the way he says, “Civil-eye-zation,” with that touch of a Canadian accent.

My apologies to all in the cast featured here, as well as to the late Star Trek impresario Gene Roddenberry. A tip o’ the WC’s fedora to Mike Leo on YouTube, where I found the original scene, as well as Star Trek Transcripts, which has the original dialogue. And all silliness like this owes a debt to WineParody, whose Robert Parker epic is the standard by which these efforts are judged.

Make sure you turn captions on when you watch the video; you can make the captions bigger or change their color by clicking on the settings gear on the lower right.

Churro, the blog’s associate editor, contributed to this post

More wine and film parodies:
Robin Hood
Enter the Dragon
Shaft

Wine meme update: Let’s not forget about premiumization

premiumization memeThis wine premiumization meme is for you, wine business — enjoy

The blog’s wine meme survey has looked at why young people don’t like wine, the three-tier system, and trolling the cyber-ether for people who disagree with you. So how have we missed premiumization?

Until now, that is: The ultimate wine premiumization meme.

Of all wine’s problems — and there are entirely too many to mention — premiumization may be the one that makes me the craziest. Case in point: I got an email the other day touting a $25 gruner veltliner, a white wine from Austria. Check Wine-Searcher, though, and there are dozens of gruners in Austria that cost €4 or €5. How did an everyday wine in Europe become a luxury in the U.S.?

As a friend noted the other day: “We can moan and complain about wine prices all we want, but this is what it comes down to in the end: a $25 bottle of gruner. On sale. Is it any wonder hard seltzer is all the rage?”

So this wine premiumization meme is for you, wine business. Enjoy.

Photo courtesy of OME Gear using a Creative Commons license

More wine memes:
One of the greatest wine memes ever?
Distracted boyfriend meme meets the wine business
Federal appeals court slaps down Texas Walmart liquor stores