Tag Archives: wine comedy

computer-generated wine reviews

The third ultimate do-it-yourself wine review

do it yourself wine review

Drinky wants to write his own wine review.

Three years ago, I stole this idea from a Chicago Cubs baseball blog. Is that, I wonder, some sort of Freudian statement about how the Wine Curmudgeon approaches wine writing? Or the Cubs?

Nevertheless, it has become a popular post. For one thing, it taps into so much of the silliness we read in wine reviews. Such as: The graphite flavor in wine “most often emanates from the alchemy of expensive wood and wine. Cabernet kissed with finely toasted French oak most often proves the source of such aromas.” And it allows anyone who drinks wine to take aim at the pomposity that is all around us and that the pompous rarely see.

So write your own wine review, using the drop-down menus in this post. Just click the menu, choose your favorite line, and laugh appropriately. Those of you who get the blog via email may have to go to the website — click here to do so. And, if you like this one, you can do the first and second ultimate do-it-yourself wine reviews, too.

In the glass, this wine looks like:

I swirled the wine, and:

I tasted the wine, and:

All in all, I’d say the wine:

great quotes

Great quotes in wine history: George Harrison

George HarrisonGeorge Harrison’s reaction when he is asked what he thinks of a well-known member of the Winestream Media, whose word he is supposed to take as gospel about what to drink.

And “Dead grotty, too.”

A tip o’ the Wine Curmudgeon’s fedora to the Dedoimedo website; this post is based on his “My reaction to — ” series. The video is courtesy of Life Goes On via YouTube.

great quotes

Great quotes in wine history: David Banner

David Banner, explaining what will happen if he is forced to buy overpriced 92-point wine with too much oak and high alcohol. Of course, the fellow in the tie from the Winestream Media doesn’t believe him, and we know what happens next.

A tip o ? the Wine Curmudgeon ?s fedora to the Dedoimedo website; this post is based on his ?My reaction to ? ? series. The video is courtesy of Ant Man via YouTube.

great quotes

Great quotes in wine history: Emily Litella

The reaction of Saturday Night Live’s Emily Litella after reporting the news — which, of course, she got wrong — that the Wine Curmudgeon was no longer going to write about cheap wine, but would switch to the most expensive wine he could find, and especially if he got it as a sample.

A tip o’ the Wine Curmudgeon’s fedora to the Dedoimedo website; this post is based on his “My reaction to — ” series. The video is courtesy of sandysperfectpaws via YouTube.

great quotes

Great quotes in wine history: Sgt. Schultz

Sgt. Schultz has just discovered that Col. Hogan and his men have devised the most ingenious plan ever to make wine accessible and easy to understand for anyone who wants to drink it. (And also because every man of a certain age still has a fond spot in his heart for “Hogan’s Heroes.”)

A tip o’ the Wine Curmudgeon’s fedora to the Dedoimedo website; this post is based on his “My reaction to — ” series. The video is courtesy of ToastedGerbil via YouTube.