Wonder why government doesn’t seem to work anymore? The Wine Curmudgeon, after poring through hundreds of news stories (and yes, that pun is fully intended), has discovered the answer: Our leaders are drunk, often from wine — call it the drunken politician conspiracy theory. Where’s
The latest development comes from Calgary, in the Canadian province of Alberta. The mayor told a city council meeting: ?I have received multiple complaints about council members getting blotto at community events, ? and that he has received reports of his peers being ?totally drunk ? on wine.
Frankly, if this happens in Canada — where politics is much more convivial than it is in the U.S., and where we know they drink beer — then we’re on to something. And this is not an isolated incident. It seems to be going on everywhere and at all levels of government:
? The California state senator who told state police he only had three glasses of wine when they pulled him over for drunk driving.
? A Google search for “Congressman drunk driving” turns up a quarter-million results, questioning the sobriety of everyone from house speakers to U.S. senators, and from every party imaginable. Imagine if I had used Congresspeople.
? A Memphis city councilwoman, who may have been drunk at a council meeting.
In fact, once I discovered this pattern, the CDC’s anti-drinking crusade made perfect sense. The federal health cops are trying to save the government from itself; how else can it assure its funding unless someone is sober enough to vote?
And scores now make sense in a way they never have before. If you’re getting loaded, what’s the easiest way to figure out what to drink? Check the score. Who wants to get trashed on a 73-point wine?