The Wine Curmudgeon did not win the world's largest ever lottery jackpot, some $640 million. One has to buy a ticket to win, and I'm entirely too curmudgeonly to participate in any gambling scheme where the odds are stacked so much in favor of the house.
But that doesn't mean I didn't consider what one could do with $640 million worth of wine:
• Buy 64 million bottles of $10 wine. If you didn't think that's the first thing I thought of, you haven't been visiting the blog very long, have you?
• Buy a couple of bottles of French wine that I would never taste otherwise, like Chateau Petrus, some first-growth Bordeauxs, and Domaine de la Romanée-Conti from Burgundy -- all of which have limited availability and can cost thousands of dollars each. But no more than a couple. My brother, who has a sizeable cellar, worries that he will never finish all the fine wine he has purchased, and that's the last thing I would want to happen to me.
• Probably not buy a winery. Think of the headaches. Think of the aggravation. Think of the snotty wine bloggers who would criticize the winery for no other reason than I owned it and they didn't.
• Move to Burgundy, but still drink Texas wine. Imagine all the people I would annoy by doing that.
• Purposely not drink Champagne, even though I could certainly afford as much of the overpriced bubbly as I wanted, Instead, I would still drink cava, the great $10 sparkling wine from Spain, and especially Cristalino. That would show those Champagne producers, wouldn't it?
• Buy a wine magazine, eliminate scores, and make the staff write their tasting notes in English and not wine-speak. How much fun would that be?