Why I don't like winespeak

Saw this review of an Argentine malbec: "Dark purple red colour with black berry on the nose. On palate it's black currant with hint of spice. Approachable light to medium bodied and little or no tannins but lack of depth and short finishing."

Does anyone have any idea what this means?

wine terms, winespeak

Comments

[Tom]

I do! I do! It means:

"The wine was wine-colored and smelled like wine. I drank a little and it tasted like wine, too, with maybe a little sharpness kind of at the back of my mouth -- which, come to think of it, is like wine. It turned my teeth purple, but only a little."

[Jeff Siegel]

That's pretty good. Does it have a good beat, and can you dance to it?